I have not been updating for some time le. Actually, there was meant to have one entry on 19th of January. However, some accidents happened and i think it's cause by some stupid B*o*g*r host site. A whole long paragraph of mine just got disappeared suddenly after i attached a photo. I was so frustrated and yet sad, that's why i didn't have any thoughts of updating recently.

My anxiety which has gone for quite some time seems comin back to visit me recently. I became easily worried on things again, especially my feelings. I started to feel stupid and dumb again for what I'm working hard and pursuing now. I wonder if is it that I'm over sensitive over something or that's the fact that I always being lied. I'm feeling so miserable and yet I have to pretend to be happy and cheerful in front of people. I start making wild guesses when small things happened, e.g: when a sms is not replied. Hey, friends, am I crazy? I think I am.
If all my intuition is true, people maybe laughing at me at the moment for my naiveness and stupidity. I'm so sad....until I actually cried. Am I thinking too much? Oh my, I have truly changed to an emotional idiot.
If that someone really happened to see this entry, please prove me wrong or just wake me up to face the cruel reality. However, I doubt this entry will be read. Or perhaps it will, but only by me myself.

Chinese New Year is around the corner but I seriously cannot feel a slight joy and happiness in the atmosphere. Nothing seems to excite me. Singapore has short break for festivals and that's why I'll have to rush back to Singapore for lesson just right after the 3rd day of the New year.

Sigh... sigh... God(whichever), please save me from the cruel reality. I'm a bit sick now and I wonder how to cure myself from it. I'm sure to go visit some doctors when I go back to Malaysia tomorrow. There will be no happy and joyful new year celebration ahead for me.